Many women who are infertile, who have experienced a loss (or more), women who don't end up pregnant easily or right way (like myself), go through pregnancy envy at least once through their journey. It is a horrible feeling. It's a combination of emotions from sadness, frustration to down right hateful. So how does one cope with such feelings? Every journey is different and everyone's way of dealing with it is different.
Here are my feelings and what I am doing to cope.
So, again, how does one cope with such feelings? I would like to say there is cure-all technique but unfortunately there isn't. I think the first step to jumping the pregnancy envy hurdle is to make positive daily routines. When testing opks or documenting cm/cf, we need to not dwell on it. We don't need to worry about it every part of our day. It just needs to be something we do on a regular basis without thinking about it. It will take some practice but for me, it has started to help. I just added opk testing into my morning routines and I don't dwell on it. I do it to get it done right away, then move on with my day. I check cm/cf throughout the day and chart it at the end of my day (since cm/cf can change drastically).
But what else are we to do? From research and talking to others going through the same thing I have come up with a short list of things you could try...
* Allow yourself to be jealous because it's natural, validate it to yourself then let it go. It's when you can't let go or get stuck on it is when you have a problem. Make sure you are aware of your feelings - wow that sounded like a Star Wars line....Ok Yoda where are you?
* It doesn't happen quickly so if you need to explain it to your friend that it's not them personally but it is your personal issues with yourself. Ask for some time but don't take forever! Be there for your friend/family member and don't let your jealousy consume you because it could ultimately damage your relationship with that person. If you feel you can't talk to that friend/family member talk to someone who isn't in the middle of the situation. Sometimes seeking a professional can help you find ways to cope (as mentioned in my video).
* Other ideas are to write it out if you aren't comfortable talking to anyone or send a blessing/prayer to your friend/family member. What I mean by this is when you catch yourself letting your jealousy take over your thoughts - stop and say a blessing or a prayer for your friend/family for a healthy baby or a safe birth. This is a good way to let go of negative energy and allow positive energy to flow to you and your friend/family member.
* Have daily positive affirmations to use for yourself. Positive affirmations can help you love yourself and your body. This is extremely good for mental health and having an overall more positive attitude about yourself.
* Distract yourself with positive things. Have a special date night with your partner. Go buy a new dress and make it a special night (just keep the baby stuff out of your mind & enjoy the time with your partner). I personally have been thinking of taking my husband out for some paintball - we have never done that before and it sounds like a fun activity!
* Go learn something new. Take a pottery class or go to those Paint & Wine classes that are so popular. It can be by yourself, with friends, family or partner! Just make it fun, light and easy to go do.
I know it is easier said than done but not stressing or obsessing over conceiving is very important. Too much stress and disappointment are not going to help you down the line.
What are some ways you have dealt with Pregnancy Envy? Did it work? What advice could you give to me or other women dealing with this type of jealousy? Post a comment below or send me an email!
Best of luck and baby dust to all!
Thanks for Reading,
Mama Gracie's Staff
Here at Mama Gracie's we have a wonderful group of staff from different walks of life. Each of their journeys contributes to what Mama Gracie's has to offer.
Mama Gracie's Pregnancy Shop
401 1st Street, Suite A
Princeton, Minnesota 55371
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